Cycle 1: Episode1 Gay Pimpin' with Jonny McGovern
Episode 1 The Premier episode of Gay Pimpin’ with Jonny McGovern aired on January 15, 2006. Show Description Jonny McGovern’s podcasting premier had arrived! It’s a mega-gay episode with an hour and a half of gossip, guests, glamour and crazy retarded fun! We’ve got Willy from Real World Philadelphia, Perez Hilton with celebrity gossip exclusive, and “What Sophia Lamar Hates” coming to you from the painfully hip Williamsburg, Brooklyn Show Breakdown Introduction “Take it internet” says Martín Beauchamp Podcast starts with Jonny McGovern Martin Beauchamp and Linda James laughing and doing Paris is Burning references. Jonny says he started podcast because there wasn’t enough gay faggotyness on the internet Linda tells the world Jonnys resume : Ricky lake, vh1, comedy central, mtv Europe, mtv Japan Linda admits to a secret crush on Martin. Linda imagines kidnapping Martin wife Crystal and wearing her dress down the aisle so after saying “I Do” shell pull back her hood and say “You got a tranny wife” Introduces Eddy, producer, sexy chocolate go-go boy who loves getting naked . reveals he’s talented at seducing straight guys. Linda wants eddy to help her seduce Martin. New York City Nightlife Report Jonny and Linda went to Junior Vasquez New Year's Eve party. Everyone wore mustaches provided by Davey Makeout .After party at Jonny’s East Village Penthouse, they ordered food and watch season 7 of the Simpsons Martin went to his moms house with his wife crystal, ate shrimp cocktail and watched the ball drop with antique noise makers. Next morning they had Caviar for breakfast. Jonny kept it quiet for new years because the next day was Jonnys party with Saints at Large at Pocha. Pocha is where the Old Sound Factory held there party. “4 floors of cuntyness” says Linda. Top floor was called “Winter wonderland” and featured Koko Aviance as the White Witch and Linda as a Snow Princess .John Battles was spinning downstairs with Kris Cox and David Napa. Party was very Circuitastic but had a mixed in of east village kids. Jonny and crew were there from 6:30 PM to 6 am the next morning. Jonny talks about the Old Sound Factory where passed out guys were thrown in closets and the Security were dealing drugs to patrons. Linda describes “Winter Wonderland” as “a Sea of naked muscular bulls” while Jonny says there more like a “Large erotic women’s tennis convention which smells of Dolce and Gabana and Curious by Britney Spears” At a certain hour these parties can get crazy, “people begin Looking like daffy duck.” Says Jonny. The next day Page 6 posted an item called “Doped and Naked” about a closet bank executive who awoke the next morning naked and alone in a locked stairwell. ( Jonny and Linda sing ”im a banker tramped in the closet” ) the man bangs on door until a cleaner lets him in. The man claims to have been drugged and wants the police called. The Club manager gives him a trash bag to wear and 40 dollars and kicks him out of the club. Gang jokes about how hard it is for Black guys and trannys to get cabs on 10th avenue. so a white naked man in a trashbag will have a hard time. Linda tells everyone she prefers a dirty rock and roll club over a circuit party. Then Jonny starts talking about “Boys gone Wild”, his Friday night frat boy party. This party features the legendary Signature towel dance, Linda James works the crowd convincing men to take over their shirts and dance in their underwear on the stage. Maxine Inniss works the door. Celebrities like Calvin Klein and Valentino love to attend Boys Gone Wild cause they love the Go-go boys. Eddy describes giving a “big” dick show to Calvin Klein who then rewarded him with $5000 The Dj for “Boys gone Wild” is DJ Uncut . Linda reveals he was in the February “Raunch” issue of Playgirl page 60 where he’s dressed as a boxer. Linda and Jonny reenact a phone call between Linda and Crystal, in which she reveals that all the men in Playgirl are gay. Martin says he came home to Crystal weeping in the corner while rocking. Jonny Talks about walking into the DJ booth to see DJ Uncut on his hands and knees eating out a young guys ass. Oh course Jonny took photo. Jay Star Movie Review New York Cities tod Go-go boy Jay Star (who was requested for a Carl Lagerfeld party) reviews movies. Jay took the title of top Go-go boy from legendary Matt Bell when he left to become editor of Genre. This week Jay Star reviews “Brokeback Mountain” while only wearing underwear. Talks about how Jake was the bottom and they used spit to lube there cocks since they were in the middle of nowhere and had no lube when fucking. Martin admits to being willing to go gay for Jake Gyllenhaal. Jonny took all the Go-go boys to see it and he made them reenacted scene from the movie. Everyone wanted to cry but wouldn’t because they were in theater with other people but Jonny cried while watching man on man consensual rape. Before leaving Linda makes Jay Star and his boyfriend Bradshaw make out which gives Jonny and boner headache. Music Break exclusive Holland’s Big Room remix of Soccer Practice featured on the Keep it Faggity: Gay Pimp Remix Project available at GayPimp.com Let’s talk about reading.....Tabloids Jonny and Linda both love the tabloids Start off talking about Kevin Federline who is featured in the January 16, 2006 issue of Star calling Britney Spear, His wife, FAT. The gang talk about how terrible Kevin’s new track Po Po Zao is. Linda compares listening to Po Po Zao to having her balls pulled really hard. Though his music is terrible and his treatment of Britney is wrong. Linda bets Kevin has a huge cock. While Jonny calls it his signature “bearcan cock”. They both admit that if Kevin shot the Po Po Zao video naked they would both like him. Everyone get there first look of Britney’s new baby Sean Preston Federline. Ricky Martin is “NOT GAY” but is doing Capoeira on the beach in a Speedo with another hot man. hmmmmmm Lauren Hill hates the whities. She is featured on the cover of Essence magazine, where Eddy's mom works. Vanity Fair has Lindsey Lohan on the cover. Linda James gets mad that Lindsay stole her life. Jonny and Linda both wish they were a Lohan. Linda tells the world that Jonny is obsessed with Audio books. Especially Maya Angelou. Phone Interview Willie Hernandez, from the 2005 cast of The Real World Philadelphia is on the phone. Calls to spill the tea with Jonny and Linda. Willie says newest key west queen Tyler Duckworth is the gayest Real World cast member EVER. Willie answers allegations that he slept with Karamo Brown, another cast member from his season. He says he didn’t sleep with Karamo but they kissed when they were drunk. The group talks about Landon Lueck, another cast member of Willies. He admits to seeing Landon naked and says he is “perfect from head to toe. Front and back.” Also says he would let Landon top him any day but would have to top Landon afterwards to teach him a thing or two. Willie claims there are a lot of lesbians in the Real World cast history which leads Jonny to recommend they do a Gays vs. Lesbians Real World/ Road Rules challenge. Jonny claims Danny Roberts from the New Orleans cast was in a threesome with his boyfriend and a go-go boy who worked for Jonny at his party in the park. Danny took the go-go boy back to his apartment from the party and he fucked the go-go boy while his boyfriend got a blowjob. Willie hears Alton from the Vegas cast has huge horse cock. Linda tells Willie that she loved Willie on the show Ghost Writer. He played Hector Carrero back in 1993-1995. Sponsor Details Clothing store in New York City "Do I look like a Slut" Gossip segment featuring Perez Hilton Perez Hilton says he’s crashing golden globes to see everything. Says Brandon Routh is a presenter and Perez is going to try to blow him. Linda wants Perez to get her a Balenciaga bag and Guchi glasses from a gift Suite. Lindsay Lohan seen at strip club “Scores” with Kate Moss. Lindsay is seen drinking when she’s only 19 and begins making out with Kate Moss before she goes on stage to pole dance. What Sophia Lamar Hates This week it is Middle Age Horny Faggots Sophia goes to the bar and sees those old faggots with saggy backs and salt and pepper chest, holding a beer looking for trade. She says “ It’s sad to look at”. She recommends they read a book, get a hobby, collect seashells instead of coming to gay clubs. At worst case these men should get castrated. “There so desperate as the night gets later.” Breaks her heart to see them go home alone. *Disclaimer (Sophia Lamars opinions are her own. they do not reflect the veiws of the Gay Pimpin' cast or me. I love me a Daddy) See also * Cycle 1 (List of Gay Pimpin': Cycle 1 episodes) Category:Podcasts